who cares when i cry?

Slow Tears

I look up as a tear rolls slowly down my cheek I think about better days and wonder if I'll feel that way again you look at me with those eyes I know so well always serious, so deep and insightful as though you're always in control But not today not now Now you look so scared like for once you don't have the answer I gaze at you looking deep into those hazel eyes Hoping to understand why you've said those things you did I wonder for a moment if this is all a dream if I shall wake in the morning and be relieved you look at me with a confusion I have never seen slowly pull me towards you and wipe the tears from my cheek

Today is Special

This is the song to the one I love most...

The Real Me

You don't care
Who I am
You don't care
About me
You don't care
That I feel and think
You don't care
About what you see.
You think I'm a loser
A boozer,
An uncontrollable lout
Who drags her feet
Is full of deceit
And with druggies hangs about.
You don't care
Why should you?
Why should you care about me?
After all, isn't it enough
To know that you know about me?
You just do it
Because you have to
You don't care a shit
You think I'm a twit
And you wonder why I blame you?
You think I'm a freak
With the morals of a stray cat on heat
Can't you see
That that isn't the real me?
You don't see the real me inside
All you see is what's on the outside
The result of years
Of constant tears
And of people who've lied and lied.
You never see
The real me
The girl who once smiled and laughed
Who had not a care in the world
What I wouldn't give
To forget and live
And be that girl again.
All you see
Is someone who creeps
Sneaks
And cheats
A person who knows no other way.
A person who's soul is destroyed
Who's plotted and ployed
Who's even tried to take her own life.
A person who cuts herself
With a knife
Who wishes she were dead
Who hits herself in the head
Who screams at you
Who tries to hit you
Even when you're trying to help....
A girl who's never felt
The feeling of love
An emotion of attachment
Sent from above.
You don't understand
What I go through
Every single day...
Black days
Blue days
In so many different ways.
I strike out at you
With dangerous accuracy
Of course you don't realise
That isn't really me.
I want to be that girl again
That girl I once was...
I get vacant memories of she
I don't recognise her
She's so happy and carefree
It's hard to believe that girl
Was once me.
I believe she still is
Deep down inside
I believe she's survived
The tears I've cried
The people who've died
The people who've lied.
I want to be her again
I yearn to be her once more...
You sometimes get flashes of she
When I'm OK and mood free
And I think you like what you saw.
You like the real me
And I do too...
You care about she
And I do too.
I want to be her
I need to be her
So you can see
That what you see everyday
Isn't necessarily
Isn't always
Almost definitely isn't
The real me.

For You

I'd die for you
cry for you
kill for you
put my life on still for you
I'd fight for you
do right by you
do anything you want me to

I'd leave with you
never look back
you're my only light
when everything is black
without you i don't think
my heart can beat
I've fallen in love with you
you've swept me off my feet.

and so it goes,
I love for you
I'd do anything and everything
just for you.

LIFE: THE UNFINISHED BUSINESS

The acts of men sometimes come so kind
And with such love do well express, yet
The deeds of men sometimes come so mean
And with great disgust is well despised.
These conflicts unresolved for times,
Someday, somewhere resolves to meet.

Between the times of history gone,
And the evolutions of future come
The present presents a balance point
In a mixing grill of settlement, where
Deeds and events do take their toll
In resolutions of investments made.

Mishap could be just a fair reward,
As life fortune is investment gained.
Opportunity could be just a means,
As occurrences are results obtained.
The pendulum swings to and fro,
Just as the clock ticks, tock and tick.

What goes on around and again,
Does come back again and around
Good or bad, it's all our choice,
For all our thoughts and acts today,
Are investments in the big game plan
Of this unfinished business of life.

To my Mama...

In Loving Stride
(Dedicated to all Mothers)

My presence came with joyful pain
And sickened her mornings
And for nine months or so
She would deal with it
But in loving stride she took it all

As I formed and grew
I changed her figure
And weakened her joints
And hampered her movement
But in loving stride she took it all

For nine months or so,
I changed the manner of her lifestyle
Inside of her, I lived in warmth
I turned and kicked, and even played
But in loving stride she took it all

God’s loving hand was there to help
My tender being was so pampered
With care and protection so needed
I was fed and nourished well indeed
And in loving stride she took it all

And when the day finally came
Her water broke, but she was strong,
Screamed in pain, but she was strong,
Until I came out breathing and crying
And in Loving stride she took it all.

And as I grew, she was there for me
As I learned this life, to walk and talk
And she was there, as I went to school
From childhood, puberty, and even more
And in loving stride MOTHER took it all.

Best friend forever..

Every time the moon races the sky,
We think of things worldwide.
We think of things we cannot hide,
Of emotions, trapped deep inside.

With tears in our eyes and fear
In our hearts, we think of the end,
Where it starts. We think about all things,
Discrimination, occurring from nation to nation

When dark clouds bring in the rain,
Still harsh air brings back the pain.
Through all the tears we've cried,
God has promised to stand by our side.

MY RESPECT AND LOVE

You have all my respect and love
For you have shown you are humane
Even in several crises
You have shown respect and love to your subordinate

You have shown you are a born leader
As the jungle we operate in has not made  you a beast
But a man of respect and love
And that makes me owe you all respect and love

You are a model of leadership
And this is the only motivating factor I need as a subordinate
For you have stood by me in hard times
And this makes me indebted with my respect and love

I pray you continue to be who you are
For you are gold in nature
As most do not have your quality
Yes, the true quality of a rare leader in life

I LOVE YOU

When I first met you I thought it was likeness
But yesterday I found it was love
You tolerated my shortcomings with love
Your kind words of love brought me love tears

Who else would have done what you did
Who could accept my inadequacies the way you did
Only you could have done what you did
To make my day beautiful again with love

How can I express that I love you
And that I will continue to love you
For you are gems of love
As you are more precious than everything but love

I love you always
I love you day and night
I love you for all seasons
And I love you most for who you are

Im in love...

Only Love

Love can sometimes be fresh.
Love can sometimes be new.
Love can sometimes make you happy.
And sometimes make you blue.
Love is the light that radiates from your eyes.
Love is your image floating in the skies.

Love is true.

Lies

Lies hurt more than the truth why do I live in self pity and expect disappointment more then optimism or does enjoyment lead me to new worlds which I can not live on the air is getting thin and I want to stay for some time too bad I can not live in my dreams for then utopia would be reached wouldn't it

Silent Tears

A thunderous silence breaks through my thoughts. What was once many great ideas is now a triumph, lost. Baffling words tumble through my mind. Reflections of darkness hover. A disturbing peacefulness beckons to me, and inside myself, I take cover. What would it be like to stay there forever? To be lost in all my cares? From the inside, looking out - I cry silent tears.

A Pain.

 

A pain in which most people can not endure,

A pain in which most people fear,

A pain that scares us in our beds,

A pain we cause in our heads,

The thoughts can scares us,

They can hurt us to,

The thought of lonlyness,

I know it scares you too!

Ever been alone?

And just wondered why?

Ever been alone?

And actually looked at the sky?

Its not as beautiful,

As you think it is,

Untill your laying there with out a kiss!

Nothings the same when you have no one,

Nothings as nice when your all alone!

 

 

Alone and Hurting...

You left me alone,

It scares me to death,

I value you way to much,

That i cant even rest,

My heart has been shattered,

And i don't need that again,

It hurts so much,

To feel alone,

And only you can change that!