who cares when i cry?

Slow Tears

I look up as a tear rolls slowly down my cheek I think about better days and wonder if I'll feel that way again you look at me with those eyes I know so well always serious, so deep and insightful as though you're always in control But not today not now Now you look so scared like for once you don't have the answer I gaze at you looking deep into those hazel eyes Hoping to understand why you've said those things you did I wonder for a moment if this is all a dream if I shall wake in the morning and be relieved you look at me with a confusion I have never seen slowly pull me towards you and wipe the tears from my cheek

Today is Special

This is the song to the one I love most...

The Real Me

You don't care
Who I am
You don't care
About me
You don't care
That I feel and think
You don't care
About what you see.
You think I'm a loser
A boozer,
An uncontrollable lout
Who drags her feet
Is full of deceit
And with druggies hangs about.
You don't care
Why should you?
Why should you care about me?
After all, isn't it enough
To know that you know about me?
You just do it
Because you have to
You don't care a shit
You think I'm a twit
And you wonder why I blame you?
You think I'm a freak
With the morals of a stray cat on heat
Can't you see
That that isn't the real me?
You don't see the real me inside
All you see is what's on the outside
The result of years
Of constant tears
And of people who've lied and lied.
You never see
The real me
The girl who once smiled and laughed
Who had not a care in the world
What I wouldn't give
To forget and live
And be that girl again.
All you see
Is someone who creeps
Sneaks
And cheats
A person who knows no other way.
A person who's soul is destroyed
Who's plotted and ployed
Who's even tried to take her own life.
A person who cuts herself
With a knife
Who wishes she were dead
Who hits herself in the head
Who screams at you
Who tries to hit you
Even when you're trying to help....
A girl who's never felt
The feeling of love
An emotion of attachment
Sent from above.
You don't understand
What I go through
Every single day...
Black days
Blue days
In so many different ways.
I strike out at you
With dangerous accuracy
Of course you don't realise
That isn't really me.
I want to be that girl again
That girl I once was...
I get vacant memories of she
I don't recognise her
She's so happy and carefree
It's hard to believe that girl
Was once me.
I believe she still is
Deep down inside
I believe she's survived
The tears I've cried
The people who've died
The people who've lied.
I want to be her again
I yearn to be her once more...
You sometimes get flashes of she
When I'm OK and mood free
And I think you like what you saw.
You like the real me
And I do too...
You care about she
And I do too.
I want to be her
I need to be her
So you can see
That what you see everyday
Isn't necessarily
Isn't always
Almost definitely isn't
The real me.

For You

I'd die for you
cry for you
kill for you
put my life on still for you
I'd fight for you
do right by you
do anything you want me to

I'd leave with you
never look back
you're my only light
when everything is black
without you i don't think
my heart can beat
I've fallen in love with you
you've swept me off my feet.

and so it goes,
I love for you
I'd do anything and everything
just for you.

LIFE: THE UNFINISHED BUSINESS

The acts of men sometimes come so kind
And with such love do well express, yet
The deeds of men sometimes come so mean
And with great disgust is well despised.
These conflicts unresolved for times,
Someday, somewhere resolves to meet.

Between the times of history gone,
And the evolutions of future come
The present presents a balance point
In a mixing grill of settlement, where
Deeds and events do take their toll
In resolutions of investments made.

Mishap could be just a fair reward,
As life fortune is investment gained.
Opportunity could be just a means,
As occurrences are results obtained.
The pendulum swings to and fro,
Just as the clock ticks, tock and tick.

What goes on around and again,
Does come back again and around
Good or bad, it's all our choice,
For all our thoughts and acts today,
Are investments in the big game plan
Of this unfinished business of life.

To my Mama...

In Loving Stride
(Dedicated to all Mothers)

My presence came with joyful pain
And sickened her mornings
And for nine months or so
She would deal with it
But in loving stride she took it all

As I formed and grew
I changed her figure
And weakened her joints
And hampered her movement
But in loving stride she took it all

For nine months or so,
I changed the manner of her lifestyle
Inside of her, I lived in warmth
I turned and kicked, and even played
But in loving stride she took it all

God’s loving hand was there to help
My tender being was so pampered
With care and protection so needed
I was fed and nourished well indeed
And in loving stride she took it all

And when the day finally came
Her water broke, but she was strong,
Screamed in pain, but she was strong,
Until I came out breathing and crying
And in Loving stride she took it all.

And as I grew, she was there for me
As I learned this life, to walk and talk
And she was there, as I went to school
From childhood, puberty, and even more
And in loving stride MOTHER took it all.

Best friend forever..

Every time the moon races the sky,
We think of things worldwide.
We think of things we cannot hide,
Of emotions, trapped deep inside.

With tears in our eyes and fear
In our hearts, we think of the end,
Where it starts. We think about all things,
Discrimination, occurring from nation to nation

When dark clouds bring in the rain,
Still harsh air brings back the pain.
Through all the tears we've cried,
God has promised to stand by our side.